The Big Man

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you Mikhele Roberts.

            A lot of people may be unfamiliar with the self-proclaimed Big man, and for rightful reasons, he sleeps for 19 hours a day, giving you a very small window to meet the fella.  If you can only know one thing about him though, know this, he wore Ugz for an entire winter.  For the male demographic I will explain Ugz.  Ugz’s are those hilariously ugly furry round boots that all the cool girls wear, even though they look ridiculous.  Now imagine Mikhele’s size 15 foot in a fresh pair of Ugz’s, making his way through the Park School Hallways.  That in its own right should be reason enough to make him the Winner of this Butch vs. Mikhele Debate.  Need more reasons, how about the fact that Mikhele gave Robby Whelan (Tall Dark and Handsome for those of you who aren’t that good with names), a cheddar flavored popsicle.  Few people have the audacity to stare into those eyes and give him and notoriously awful popsicle flavor.  And if this isn’t enough for you, Mikhele also has an endless sports competition with Mr. Richard Abbott.  They have competed on the courts of Ping Pong, Squash, Basketball and Golf, each showing no mercy for one another.  If you aren’t fond of this rivalry, Mikhele also raced Renee Abbott (age 7 at the time) in a 100 yard dash.  After Mikhele blew the little girl out of the water, he taunted her in a completely serious, non-sarcastic way.  He later destroyed Renee in a 9 hole match play tournament at Audobon Golf course, and was quite proud of the accomplishment.  Also, he can eat 12 Big macs.