Summer To Do List

The other day, I finished school.  It was awesome.  Now that teachers aren't all over me with their stupid rules and stupid assignments, I can finally focus on the important things in life.  I know a lot of people are wondering that since I won't be living with Dr. Jon Dray for 4 months, will I still be able to get the same amount of activities done?  The obvious is answer is a resounding, unequivocal, NO.  I mean we had bunk beds and a PS2, its impossible to recreate that many activities in a 4 month span.  With the place to myself now though, I can finally do the things that I prefer though, like listen to the same classic music song on repeat, watch NBA basketball, and stay up REALLY LATE without getting a dirty look from Jon.  I have high aspirations for this summer seeing as it about twice as long as last summer.  Obviously I would like to do more than 10 things this summer, but if I can't, these would be the 10 things that I would most like to do.

10.) Bury Whipple in tennis in front of all his piers and extended family.  Obviously whenever we play I will bury him, but making sure that all of his aunts and uncles are in attendance are where things get tricky.  Also I don't know who Whipple's piers are, but I will find them.

9.) Have Robby and Tim meet and settle their differences.  It really is getting out of hand, both parties are being stubborn in this quarrel, and like that one scrubs episode, the real winner of this stubborn battle is who can apologize first.  I look forward to see who the winner is.

8.) eat candy

7.) Watch Like Mike

6.) Execute Operation Overall, I'd like to go in to detail her, but me and my confidant cannot give out any more information, but it is going to be glorious.

5.) Get married, It's about time for me to settle down, this wild lifestyle of staying up late and eating ice cream needs to come to an end.

4.) Make sure that whore signs the pre-nup.

3.) Get a Crabtree jersey

2.) Attend Michael Vick's release party on May 20th.  

1.) Attend Michael Vick's release party on May 20th, and not make a scene.  Knowing Vick, this is going to be a BIG party.  I'm assuming performances by Ja Rule for sure, and maybe Celine Dion depending on the acoustics.  Also, the Vick bar is always chalk-full of Stones, I need to know my limit and just enjoy myself.  I don't want to punch any peta assholes in the gut or ask Warrick Dunn to build me a house.  Hopefully Peerless Price is there an we can just chill.  If not, who knows.

Spring Cleaning

On planet earth there is 4 seasons.Summer, which has nice weather no school and Box Car Children Pool Team season.  Fall, which is only good cuz you can watch football and god sent me here during fall. Winter, which has exactly 1 redeeming quality- basketball season (Yes I'm aware thats when christmas is, stop whining,but not all our readers celebrate christmas)And finally my personal favorite, spring. 

Spring is pretty diverse, if you reside in Buffalo like myself it could be 65 and sunny 1 day, and then snowy the next day. In spring you could wear a hoody and jeans, or shorts and a tall T and you would not look like an idiot, unless you wear a navy blue shirt and black shorts which I wasn't aware didn't "match" until yesterday but I slowly digress. Spring also happens to be the start of the baseball season. If your unfamiliar with baseball, it is America's past time. Baseball represents everything that is right about America. Now that Ken Griffey Jr. is once again a Seattle Mariner, your Dead F'in Prez authors as well as a few other stragglers will be going anywhere and everywhere to see this legend. I also like spring's holidays. I'm a modern day Chris Columbus so I always find my easter basket in like .6 seconds, mostly because my mom can't reach any high places in the house so its always under a couch or in the freezer or something. Speaking of holidays and Mini Moms, not only is her favorite holiday in spring, but her birthday is exactly 1 day before it (aka today) Yet another reason why spring is so cool.

I can't really think of any other reasons why I like spring but I'll say that to say this, the birds are chirping, flowers are blooming like my 3rd least favorite cousin Jareds beard and the sun comes out of the closet.

Now that you have fully digested why your enjoying spring its time to get serious.I am facing 40 years- to life in prison. I got a speeding ticket for going 140 in a 30 in North Tonawanda, the cop asked me why I was going so fast and I said "obiously to get the hell out of NT you scumbags" Eventually they sent me some crap about going to court, followed up a few days later with a notification saying my court date changed. Under all this confusion and me being a slacker I was informed I missed court which was friday the 17th. I was also informed in Italy friday the 17th is bad luck, like friday the 13th here. This all makes sense...Italians hate me, the government hates me, North Tonawanda and me have mutual hate. The fact of the matter is its a surprise I made it alive to see saturday the 18th with all the hate out there.

Alot of folks wanna know who i got in the NBA playoffs, I pretty much knew the whole season, its gonna be Nuggets vs Cavaliers. Like Tim Cammaratta once said, if we outscore them were gonna win. It should come down to that in the Finals this season as well.

Respect 1 another,

Gillery

Come back like jordan, wearing the four five

Hello world, it's been so long since I blogged on your head that I almost almost forgot my password.  Anyways, I know you all are wondering, Jim what are you going to do now that your only friend at Pittsburgh Dejuan Blair is leaving you for greener pastures (NBA not PGA).  Well, like all good things, my relationship with the big man must come to an end.  I sure am gonna miss the piggy back rides he gave me to class, and the milkshakes we shared with 2 straws at the Perch, but I'll live.  I mean if I was a 6'6 center with a questionable jump shot, I would have no choice but to enter the draft too.  It's been real Dejuan, its been real.

Recently, I scared Dan (Tom Brady) by staking out in his closet for 15 minutes while he was out of his room.  When he returned, I jumped out, and yelled the scariest thing i could think of... "HEY!"  Needless to say, he was startled.  We shared a good chuckle, and I thought the incident was behind us.  I was wrong.  I was terribly wrong.  Two days later, when I was out of the dorms, and Jon went to grab a snack and left our dorm room open (I swear, I have to do EVERYTHING) Dan made his move.  I returned to the room, and noticed everything was gone, Both our computers, TV, DVD's, Jon's wallet, CANDY (just kidding, that is kept in a secret location where nobody but me can get to).  I looked at Jon with my patented "NO WAY" look.  He too was startled, and upset with himself for leaving the door open, presumably.  After initially blaming Chad, and realizing he had a good alibi, he was with me the whole time, we focused our blame elsewhere.  Dan came into the room, and gave his patented "NO WAY" look, but then reminded me of the time when I scared him.  To answer your questions, yes, it was Dan who stole our stuff!  Talk about the scare of a life time.  After a little coercing, Dan agreed to give our stuff back, but the lesson was learned.  Don't scare Dan unless you are ready for war.

Besides getting scared shitless lately, I have taken time out of my busy schedule to observe my 2009 Seattle Mariners.  If I could sum up these '09 M's in one rap lyric it would be "The last of the best, one world to describe them, spectacular, yes!"  With a gold glove laden outfield, and King, there's no way this team loses more than 100 games this year.  Though I know that it's improbable that the Mariners will win the World Series this year, I find solace in the fact that neither will the Yankees or the $441 million dollars they spent this offseason.  My pick is none other than the Florida Marlins, led by their young arms of Josh Beckett, Dontrelle Willis, and Brad Penny.  With those 3 heading their rotation, there is no way they lose a best of 7 series.  

Last but not least, there has been a lot of speculation that Mike Nelson will bat clean up on the PSAS esquires softball team this summer since he has bulked up, and has a chiseled beach body to rival Paul Walker.  Though his Bod does look exceptionally Hott, we are still batting him at the lead off position, where his exceptional wheels can be best utilized.  Think of him as Alphonso Soriano... on acid.  I'd also like to use this time to send apology cards to Mike for getting his hopes up for the 09 Cuse basketball season, only to find out 3 of their starters are entering the draft.  Don't worry, Harris and Devo will return after realizing they are D-Leaguers, but please, everyone, Mike is the biggest Syracuse fan I know, In fact, he makes Gillery look like a Bandwaggoner, I know Mike is heartbroken about this, so please send your condolences.   

Exclusive Jimmy Abbott Interview

It is my honor to provide to you, my friends, an exclusive 1 on 1 interview with James Marshall Abbott. It was done over the phone on your normal April night in Buffalo...snowy and cold. The weather in Pittsburgh was not provided...........................

Dead F'in Prez(DFP)- State your a/s/l

JMA 19/M/OAKLAND,PA

DFP-Earliest memory?

JMA Probably the 1st time i ever road a bike, age 8. 

DFP-Thoughts on NCAA tournament

JMA One- I won my pool. 2- I love to see Danny Green smile, Danny got his...3 I never wanna look at Wake Forest again.. 4 ESPN hasn't talked about this yet but teams with a white 2 guard all lost..Such as Glasser, Page, Devendorf & Rautins, Duke,Texas with Balbay...BYU there all white, Kansas with Morningstar

DFP-Any good AAU basketball stories?

My favorite stories, I ordered a jersey that was way to small on me...Licata swatting the shit out of Gillery...Licata played a game with his phone in the pocket, one time I hit biggest shot of my career, I thought I tied the game with a big 3 pointer... turns out were still down by 1. Another is we are down 2 Edvin dribbles up gets double teamed, I'm wide open on a wing,instead he puts up a double clutch bank 3 that of course misses.

DFP-Thoughts on Gillery's NBA career

JMA- Short lived, to many cling ons, had to feed to many mouths to feed, the fast life got to you.

DFP-Any good Butch Mang stories?

JMA- Theres alot...I have 2 favorites..He walked into the pool with his cell phone in his pocket, my other is we were at the flee market and Butch saw a table with a bear laying down holding up the glass, and Butch went up and started tickling the bear.

DFP- Who ya got Butch or Mikhele? 

JMA- I try not to compare them, its like picking ice cream or cake, I mean I want them both.

DFP- How would you save the economy

JMA- Thats simple, the answer is simple...You IMMEDIATLEY let Mike Vick back in the NFL. You let Vick back in, he gives us 6 million back in taxes. Selling jerseys and dog toys will get people up and spending loot, thats what they need.

DFP- Thoughts on how working sucks

You gotta wake up early, for one. They don't like it when you do things that you do out of work, at work. Theres not enough jobs that require overalls, you can only wear overalls for certain jobs. A lot of times your not working with Gallo, which stinks.

DFP-Whats been playing on your ipod lately

Great question...I'm a shuffle guy, spontaneous. But recently, trying to finish Maritato's texts with lyrics I've been listening to a lot of 2003 rap... Nelly, the whole Like Mike album. A lot of Ron Artests new stuff is pretty good, little O town when I'm at the gym, before a test when I need to get insightful Soulja Boy... him or Metallica.

DFP- Thoughts on the Scarey movie series

I am pretty opiniated, after 3 they lost integrity and sold out, they had to many cameos when they already had alot of talent with the Wayans brothers.

DFP- I like Jose Lopez, who is your favorite 09 Mariner?

Jarrod Washburn, but Paul (Boal) isn't getting the  baseball package on TV so we can't watch them, which was the only reason I'm friends with Paul.

DFP- Do you have a "Summer of Griffey" plan in place at all?

JMA- Cleveland, Toronto, Detroit, and I'm going to Seattle. I plan on visiting Uncle Rock (ed note- you'll learn who uncle Rock is at a later date)

DFP- Can you believe its been 6 years since our undefeated St.Pauls baseball season?

JMA- We need to have a reunion, a nice BBQ...kill and roast a pig. 

Final Words

Dont do anything unless theres a free T shirt involved, 2 hands on the wheel, work on your left hand, your gonna need it. Sing like no-ones listening, dance like nobodies watching. Love like nobodys loving. You gotta Read to Achieve. Before you die you gotta see Hoobastank live.