keytsone

As you are aware, i have a large affinity for the delicious, affordable, always smooth beverage known as Keystone Light.  In order to honor their hard work, I've decided to help them out with their "Unsmooth moments" that are on the side of the can.  Unfamiliar? Here's an example of a real Unsmooth moment, "Fell Asleep in her arms, she was still talking."  Quirky, subtle, and dare i say, truly unsmooth.  Now for a few unsmooth moments of my own that i hope earn there way onto a beautiful blue and silver keystone light can.

"Asked if she was pregnant, she recently had a miscarriage"

"Told her she was pretty, she was ugly"

"Met her parents, they were blind"

Time out, while i was writing this, Dan Stein (Tom Brady) walked into my room, barring a RED, thats right, RED keystone can.  Needless to say, he drank it, but he did give it to me as a souvenir, knowing that i have never seen a RED one in person.  

"Bought her a puppy, she's terrible at raising dogs and even worse at raising them to fight"

"Took her to a movie, much like her parents, she too was blind"

"Told her the Penguin joke, she was deaf"

"Gave her your jacket, it was full of candy"

"Read her a story, she hates stories"