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This post is really long, so if you dont like long things (el oh el) dont read this, or read some of it then come back after your done taking out the trash and petting your dog. Everyone who loyally follows this blog, Im looking at you Willy Clinton , has this whole idea of Gillery being this happy go lucky child with a thousand watt smile that lights up the room. That is only half true, I do have a thousand watt smile, but I'm a man and I know when and how to get serious. In fact i can have quite the temper, just ask my douche bag of a roommate Mike Maritato, he had hair clippers that weren't plugged in and took them to my hair which is awkwardly long right now. If you've never felt what that is like before imagine a Puerto Rican professional arm wrestler pulling your hairs out 1 by 1. I don't like arm wrestling and I dont mind Puerto Ricans but i still leaned the garbage can up against Mikes door (classic prank) he got garbage all over his lame Nikes but I digress, I'm here to tell you some other things that have been nagging me.

Everyone knows I'm a huge Seattle Mariners fan, so firstly I'd like to say with Griffey back i could care less if they go 0-162 which is possible when your best player is Asian. With the Griffey signing Im not that pissed at the M's right now, but they did let go of Eric O'Flaherty that was a stupid move. Not to mention they didn't pick up anyone good besides God this off season, there gonna be terrible, and people are still never going to understand why I like the Mariners (for the love of christ, its not hard. as a young boy I loved Ken Griffey Jr. when he left I stuck with them, now that hes back I'm clearly thrilled as stated above)

I am also a fan of the Buffalo Bills, they are the herbs that started 5-1 and didnt make the playoffs I was just starting to get over the season when the Bills announced they gave their shitty coach Dick(less) Jauron a 3 year extension. BRILLIANT! Maybe after next years 7-9 finish we'll get the 10th pick in the Draft !!! Clowns. There is 2 reasons I still like the Bills- its fun to tailgate. my dad drinks a 5th of Jameson in 5 minutes just to put with the stink that is the Bills.  I usually just pound like 13 Blue Lights and watch Jimmy man ram(no homo) his 30 of Keystone before Bills games. The other reason I still like the Bills is Marshawn Lynch is on the team. Now I thought I was a fun guy then I partied with Marshawn, dude is crazy. He hit a bitch with his car and left and got a slap on the wrist for it, a $100 fine. Really legal justice? The kid makes millions and  your gonna fine him a Benjamin? Herbs. More recently Marshawn was in a car that smelled like weed with a loaded gun and 4 "marijuana cigarettes" I dont know what they meant by marijuana cigarettes but he probably bought them off Mini Mom. Just as I was about to get pissed about the punter being the best one on the team, I remembered the Bills are probably gonna move to Toronto even though us fans still show up every sunday despite the fact that the Bills haven't been to the playoffs since the Garfield administration

Is it ok to be somewhat excited at the prospect of Ralph Wilson kicking the you know what soon? or does that just mean its T.dot time? F it.

My favorite college team is the Syracuse Orange(men) I could go on for like 45 days about how its embarrasing to be a fan of their football team but I'm already blushing and I hate blushing in front of hot girls, yes I'm hanging out with hot girls as I write this, that just shows how dedicated I am to the blog. The basketball team is disapointing me in Big East play, they lost to Villanova yesterday but they shot 39 3 pointers, so how could I be mad? How happy do you think Andy Rautins is despite the loss? hes got a sweet hair cut, and Boeheim lets them shoot 39 3 pointers these days? Not to mention he just got a shout out on the Dead F'in Prez blog? Things are looking Sunny D (Gillery slang for "bright" or "good") for you Mr. Andy Rautins

The only sport I dont root for the Orange in is gymnastics. Who do you root for then Gill? Shutup and I'll tell you. I'm loyal to the Pitt Panthers, but they have been letting me down like my other favorite sports teams. No I'm not especially upset about the recent loss to Michigan St. I'm pretty pissed that I cant buy a text. Seriously my number is probably still on your dry erase board. Before you give me something like " but Gillery I have a boyfriend !" understand this, unless your boyfriend is Brad Wanamaker theres no way that he's cooler then me. i'll list some of my credentials- I'm a bad boy, I've been taken home by the cops at least 6 times since middle school. I also have a sensitive side, I cried at the end of Beavis & Butthead Do America. I dont mean to brag but my 6 pack... breath taking... I have a camera phone and a mirror if you know what I mean. Also I'm made of money, and if rap worlds taught me anything, I know that ladies are interested in the dead presidents.

Heres what else has recently pissed me right off. The other day at the Gillery house hold were eating a fine meal prepared by Mini Mom, it was Mighty Taco. Of course I'm chillin hard core cuz i pounded 3 Sparks (2 black ones and 1 orange. never the blue, never) before our meal. Bridget my half dumb half awesome sister is texting/eating and Mini Mom is eating trying to tone out the Big L i put on our bitchin' Bose stereo, when all of a sudden Mini Mom recommends that i stop drinking so many sparks...great idea Mrs Michael Phelps! She said something about me always chillin on some Sparks and how Sparks are basically acidic liquid that makes your mouth all orange and that its slowly killing me. All of this is true about Sparks except i had to call out Mini Mom seeing as no matter what I'm slowly dying smell me? Anyway I thought about my life sans Sparks, the thought was something like this. So after dinner I went into my basement and switched on ESPN, Outside the Lines with Bob Ley was on. Yet another thing that pisses me off. I can't take it when ESPN does crap like Outside the lines. Listen ESPN I dont need to know why black kids don't like playing baseball anymore and I really don't care who did steroids (to narrow it down everyone who was good from 1980-2006 besides God)

Now that my blood pressure has risen 100 points(?) I'm going to drink a couple Sparks and ruin Maritatos world