Hakuna Matata

Gillery here, blogging in your eye. I'd first like to address a rampant rumor, yes I am going to Africa. Why Africa? I have relatives there, my brother and this girl he married (I forget her name...yikes!) are in the peace corp. I don't really know what they do over there but I'm about to find out. I've never been to Africa but I've seen a ton of Lion King in my prime, so I think we're ready to go.

 I had to go to the doctor and get 4 shots for Africa. FOUR!. They stuck 2 in my arms and 2 in my legs. I'm not saying getting shots hurt but I hate needles. The nurse could see the terror in my eyes when she brought in the needles so she assured me it would be a quick little pinch no pain at all. When she stuck the first needle in my arm I let out a "AAHHHH" the nurse looked at me and I said "I'm just teasing that didn't hurt" she wasn't amused (awkward) When she was sticking more needles in me she apologized for the long wait earlier (I was in the waiting room for at least an hour) because one of the doctors called in sick. I giggled and said "isn't it kind of unacceptable to call in here sick?" once again this lady didn't find me funny, which is rather unusual for a girl not to laugh when I have my shirt off. To top off the long wait, four needles, and the nurse with the strict no laugh policy, they didn't even have lolly-pops (I would of went with orange) plus Mini Mom who also got shots, didn't even take me to Chuck-E-Cheese to make me feel better.

Surviving Africa doesn't end with just a few shots. I start taking malaria pills today. As you all know I don't understand a lot of things (like why do I absolutely love the freecreditreport.com commercials) But heres whats really baffling my huge brain lately, on tube thing my pills are in there is a little sticker that says "Avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/or artifical sunlight while taking this medication" Am I the only one that sees this as a little ridiculous, I think its going to be a little hard for me to avoid "excessive exposure" to the sun in F'in Africa. It's not even like I was not gonna get burnt over there, considering my skin tone is somewhere in between paper and Jungle Jim Loscutoff. 

I'll be in Africa for two weeks, my return will coincide with the start of Box Car Children Pool Team (BCCPT) season. If you don't know who the BCCPT are maybe Jimmy will write a blog about it. In short we are a dynasty in every sense of the word, our leader Billy Edelin rules with a iron fist, the team chemistry is even better then Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz' was in "What Happens in Vegas" and our skill is purer then Jesus' jumpshot. 

Although I'll be gone I don't think I'll soon be forgotten, and if I am it's only gonna be for two weeks so don't do anything crazy. I will bring you all back gifts, most likely a t shirt that says "My friend wen to Africa and all I got was this Stupid T-Shirt !" but maybe I'll mix it up. Stay thirsty my friends.

Gillery for Super Intendent

My friends, I have been doing some deep thinking about my life and future plans. Other then deciding on a BLT for dinner I have decided to run for Superintendent of the Ken-Ton school district. While I have many things not in my favor to win such as I'm only 19 years old, I have been diagnosed as " very dumb", and I'm skinny... I am instead focusing on what I will do as superintendent

More money invested in school lunch- Although I'm now graduated from Ken West I do miss eating a chicken patty and fries from time to time. I ate that every day for 4 years straight, unless it was taco day (other other thursday) I figured they got the chicken patty and tacos down, but I'd rather lick the floor of a baseball dugout in 9th inning then eat any of the other shit they serve. So I decided were gonna re-do all the cafeterias in Ken Ton and open a Taco Bell, and a Chick-Fil-A.

Strict Drug Policy- I will do away with the D.A.R.E. program that is supposed to keep kids away from drugs. If my students want to fry their brain like their poppa Superintendent Gill, then let them. Hell were even considering setting up a beer vending machine to replace the one machine that never has anything in it besides a few cereal bars. The Coors company is willing to give us a lot of sponsorship deals, so we can get new text books and what not, so I concurred this as a win win.

Immediatley terminate Jim Badgley as Ken West basketball coach- He has all the talent in the world, one time his back court featured me and Jimmy aka blog extrordinares, who does he want Mark "the Shark" Titus (you can google that one) On that same team he had "The Boy Who Never Smiled" as well as Dead F'in Prez' biggest pain the ass Mike Maritato. The only way KW ever does better then 12-8 is if LeBron returns to high school and plays for West. Also Badgley hits his players and one time called me ugly (perhaps he's blind) 

Hire Mr. William Daniels as my assistant- Also known for his role as George Feeny, I think no further explanation is necessary on the subject.

Enforce a strict dress code- In Ken Ton our dress code currently is pretty simple. Don't dress like you work at Rick's Tally-Ho and don't wear any beer T shirts. This will be erased the second I walk into the door as superintendent, from now on all students will be dressed up as their favorite Will Ferrell characterbecause school is a place to learn, not a fashion show.

New curriculum- Theres gonna be a hell of a lot more cartoon watching, and a lot less test taking. The only good thing I ever learned taking tests was how to cheat on them. Through cartoons we can teach the young minds that your only cheating yourself. I see this now that I'm a mature young man and want to share it with the youngans before its to late

So now you see my platform and see how successful the children of Ken Ton are gonna be once Im in office. Theres no doubt in my mind we can finally get Paul Boal out of the Ken Ton school system after about 22 years combined of Paul being at Hoover and Ken West. I also believe I am qualified for the job because I'm one of only a handful of kids to get in school suspension at Ken West as well as Ken East (in summer school) I will also work hand in hand with Kenmore mayor Pat Mang who has been a colleague of mine for quite some time.