Old Man and the Sea

Recently I finished, what I believed to be, a subpar co-ed intramural soccer season.  We finished a gentleman's 1-5, but took home the Sportsmanship award.  It's not the team's success that I considered a failure, but my personal achievements.  I finished with 1 goal, 4 assists, and I also scored on my own net from about midfield, it was awesome.  I also let in 2 goals during a 3 minute stint in net.  That may look bad, but Doyle is liable to give up 50+ goals during any World Cup session.  Anyways, my problem was that my Irish dancing moves seemed slow and predictable.  There was no zest to them like there is during a mid July Night at Kenny Field.  It could be because I didn't ride my bike to these games, but I don't think that's it.  Anyways, soccer is totally whack, and If GB stopped playing it, it would totally die in the U.S.  

Now I know you all want to call me an asshole because Pitt lost to Nova, but STFU they played really hard!!!  Scotty Reynolds got his Tyus Edney on and that was that.  I didn't even have them winning my bracket either like some real assholes did.  Either way my dude Wanamaker had an ill reverse layup, and as long as he eats I DON'T GIVE A DAMN like Smokey in Friday.  Anyways UNC is too strong for Nova, and will also take care of Uconn, despite A.J. Price's attempts to supplant Danny Green as "That Dude."  

Recently I have discovered a nap that might de-thrown the social nap as the coolest nap on the market.  I like to call it the "Fresh out da shower" nap, in honor of Cam'ron Boice's imfamous facebook picture.  Here's what you do, I'll break it down into three phases.  Wake up from a long night's rest, preferably 8-9 hours, and drag yourself out of bed.  It may be difficult at the time, but trust me it pays dividends.  Phase 2, take a shower.  You can brush your teeth too, it's up to you, but definitely throw on some deodorant.  Phase three, throw on some underpants and a mean pair of sleep shorts, DEFINITELY no shirt, and hop back into bed.  From there on, the duration of your nap is completely in your control, I like to make mine no longer than 20 minutes.  Set the alarm for 10 minutes, and allow yourself 2 snoozes.  You'll wake up feeling invigorated and confused.  After your "Fresh out da shower" nap, you can go to class, take a walk, eat cereal, ride a bike, frolic with the local midget, the list is endless.  Today I chose "Go to class" but tomorrow who knows.  

As you all are well aware, Damour Bailey is STILL single for some strange reason.  I suggest all females out there, as long as you have a "donk" of course to contact him immediately.  His number is 716-207-7437.  Its important that you hurry though, because if you don't, something terrible might happen.  Anyways, call/text/i-p-relay him on his cell phone 716-207-7437, or his home phone 716-909-3919.  My younger sister, Renee (Ruh-nAy) had a once in a life time chance to date Martin Bailey, Damour's younger big brother, with the voice of a 40 year old, and she let it slip.  Don't make the same mistake.