More money invested in school lunch- Although I'm now graduated from Ken West I do miss eating a chicken patty and fries from time to time. I ate that every day for 4 years straight, unless it was taco day (other other thursday) I figured they got the chicken patty and tacos down, but I'd rather lick the floor of a baseball dugout in 9th inning then eat any of the other shit they serve. So I decided were gonna re-do all the cafeterias in Ken Ton and open a Taco Bell, and a Chick-Fil-A.
Strict Drug Policy- I will do away with the D.A.R.E. program that is supposed to keep kids away from drugs. If my students want to fry their brain like their poppa Superintendent Gill, then let them. Hell were even considering setting up a beer vending machine to replace the one machine that never has anything in it besides a few cereal bars. The Coors company is willing to give us a lot of sponsorship deals, so we can get new text books and what not, so I concurred this as a win win.
Immediatley terminate Jim Badgley as Ken West basketball coach- He has all the talent in the world, one time his back court featured me and Jimmy aka blog extrordinares, who does he want Mark "the Shark" Titus (you can google that one) On that same team he had "The Boy Who Never Smiled" as well as Dead F'in Prez' biggest pain the ass Mike Maritato. The only way KW ever does better then 12-8 is if LeBron returns to high school and plays for West. Also Badgley hits his players and one time called me ugly (perhaps he's blind)
Hire Mr. William Daniels as my assistant- Also known for his role as George Feeny, I think no further explanation is necessary on the subject.
Enforce a strict dress code- In Ken Ton our dress code currently is pretty simple. Don't dress like you work at Rick's Tally-Ho and don't wear any beer T shirts. This will be erased the second I walk into the door as superintendent, from now on all students will be dressed up as their favorite Will Ferrell characterbecause school is a place to learn, not a fashion show.
New curriculum- Theres gonna be a hell of a lot more cartoon watching, and a lot less test taking. The only good thing I ever learned taking tests was how to cheat on them. Through cartoons we can teach the young minds that your only cheating yourself. I see this now that I'm a mature young man and want to share it with the youngans before its to late
So now you see my platform and see how successful the children of Ken Ton are gonna be once Im in office. Theres no doubt in my mind we can finally get Paul Boal out of the Ken Ton school system after about 22 years combined of Paul being at Hoover and Ken West. I also believe I am qualified for the job because I'm one of only a handful of kids to get in school suspension at Ken West as well as Ken East (in summer school) I will also work hand in hand with Kenmore mayor Pat Mang who has been a colleague of mine for quite some time.
u got my vote
ReplyDeletedo you want a campaign donation? ill just give you a blank check.
ReplyDeleteu got my vote as long as u hire me to teach and rape the young children in the school district
ReplyDelete